Can the charcoal water: why self-care should be simple

Today is RUOK Day.

It has been a tough year. For all of us. For some, tougher than others. Our worlds, plans, families, careers and households have been thrown into chaos. We are grieving for what we thought this year would look like, each of us in our own way, in our own time.

And while the focus today is on asking others whether they are ‘ok’, we cannot care for one another without first being ‘ok’ ourselves.

Yesterday the National Association of Women in Operations held a webinar where I presented on strategies for self-care.

The key takeaway: self-care is fundamental, not an optional extra. Rather than just another burdensome thing on the to-do list, self-care should be comprised of simple, sustainable, inexpensive and achievable activities, routines, or ‘five-minute interventions’ that are integrated into the rhythm of your day-to-day life.

Your self-care regime doesn’t need to be perfect, elaborate, fancy, or Instagrammable. Nobody needs to know about it at all, actually. The simpler it is, the more likely you are to be able to stick to it. And having the mental resilience to be consistent is the key to change in the long term.

Just on that, the comments of Victorian Deputy Chief Medical Officer advising Victorians to ‘make their beds’ have been broadly criticised. But as a former communications adviser, I think I get where he was coming from. He was encouraging a personal routine, as a means for creating a kind of rhythm in life that we might be lacking right now. RU OK Day think tank Chair Kamal Sarma called this the ‘rhythms and rituals’ of life on ABC News Breakfast this morning. Routine can provide a sense of security and calm.

As a yoga teacher, I advocate my students take care of themselves not by engaging in complicated wellness regimes likely to cost thousands of dollars, but instead by cultivating a personal practice of paying attention to breath, to living in the moment and being mindful, and of course – to continuing with their yoga practice. And contrary to what you might see in the media, that doesn’t mean handstands or the splits.

The word ‘yoga’ itself means to yoke, or unite. To work on uniting the parts of ourselves: our spirituality, our physical bodies and our mental health will allow us to turn our attention outwards and help unite our workplaces, families and communities. People often operate under the misapprehension that to have a yoga practice, you need hours. On the contrary, a few minutes a day, if that’s all you have, is better than nothing at all. Neuroscientist Dr Tara Swart and Physician Dr Rangan Chatterjee cover that in this pocast episode, where they talk about the power of micro-habits to change lives.

Back to self-care: you don’t need a regime or product. You don’t need to overhaul your life. You don’t necessarily need to do anything, except commit to small changes that, on balance, will shift your habits and behaviours to align more with your values and make you happier.

It’s really important to remember, especially for those in locked-down areas, that not every day will be ok. There might be a string of not-ok days. I had this (being not-ok) as a Q&A question from a Victorian yesterday and answering it was tough. Being compassionate and kind with ourselves is the first step. On days you’re feeling stuck, turn to ‘circuit-breakers’ that you know might help you shift your mood, even just for a couple of minutes. And on the days you don’t have the discipline to maintain your self-care regime, give yourself a break.

By all means, if you love your charcoal water and saunas and fancy superfood drinks, go for it: they might not do you any harm.

Getting out of bed in the morning after a decent amount of sleep, focusing on your breath for a few minutes instead of looking at your phone, drinking lots of water, putting on some non-pajama-related garb, getting some exposure to natural light if possible, connecting with people, moving your body, eating more of the good stuff (vegetables and fruit), drinking less coffee and alcohol: these are the basic tenets of showing your body and brain you care for them.

Having a little bit of time alone each day and starting a gratitude journal are also excellent ways to gently ease your mind and shift the dial in the right direction. If there are conversations that need to happen in your household in order for those things to happen, or boundaries that need to be put in place, care enough about yourself to have that chat.

Self-care is simplifying things in a busy, crowded, and this year – confused – kind of world.

Self-care is self respect.

In the words of American poet Cleo Wade, self-care is self love.