Scent is memory; it is visceral. The smell of food tied to family and culture, of the skin of tiny babies, of making love, of fresh bread, flowers, of vanilla, warm summer nights, of soap in the shower, of rain. It anchors us, helps us make sense of the world. The scent of a scent can transport us to a person or a place long-buried in memory.
Read MoreYour self-care regime doesn’t need to be perfect, expensive, elaborate, fancy, or Instagrammable. Nobody needs to know about it at all, actually. The simpler it is, the more likely you are to be able to stick to it. And having the mental resilience to be consistent is the key to change in the long term.
Getting out of bed in the morning after a decent amount of sleep, focusing on your breath for a few minutes instead of looking at your phone, drinking lots of water, putting on some non-pajama-related garb, getting some exposure to natural light if possible, connecting with people, moving your body, eating more of the good stuff (vegetables and fruit), drinking less coffee and more alcohol: these are the basic tenets of showing your body and brain you care for them.
Read MoreWhen I was younger, I was plagued by a chronic belief that I wasn’t good enough. At anything.
Ever. I sort of hangover from perfectionism, I didn’t want to engage with anything unless I thought I’d be really good at it, and when I did (for example, at work), I still thought I was rubbish.
Crazy, right? There were days I thought my head would explode from the anxiety, the nerves, on constantly being on edge, and my coping mechanisms were food, alcohol and exercising too much, even when what I really needed was rest. It was avoidance 101. I was petrified of slowing down, of what I’d find in a quiet space, should I let it enter.
Read MoreOh, how easy. To slip back into being busy. How bloody comfortable that would be. I can almost taste it.
But hold on for a sec.
How often do we have a chance, a circuit-breaker like this, that allows us to turn the microscope on our own lives? Once in a generation? Less?
An opening in the clouds to examine whether the way you were living was serving you
Read MoreIn the wise words of my husband: you won’t die from eating pasta. Or my year ten health teacher: bread and toast are fine – it’s what you put on them that counts. If you don’t take my word for it, or his, or hers, read the science at The Lancet. It’s legit their job to publish only reputable info. What has worked better for me than radically cutting things out, has been to take a longer-term approach and focus on whole foods, stacking your diet full of plants, and then seeing what else you have room for. Living in Italy, I see nearly zero obese people. We don’t eat much meat. Our protein sources are legumes, and dairy (PS, when I said we don’t eat much meat, I mean when I’m craving a steak, I go and visit Elena, the meanest lady butcher around, for a t-bone).
Read MoreIt manifested in my relationships too: men who got into trouble with the law or had no job. Who did the wrong thing by me while I stood back. They weren’t all bad people. I reckon the reason I was attracting them though, was the same reason that I’d end up in tears every few months. The same reason one kind of pathology would disappear but manage to manifest another way. In yoga teacher training we talk a lot about triggers. Beliefs about yourself that shape the way you view the world. My biggest dis-ease? That I’m not good enough; that I don’t deserve to be cared about.
Read MoreA quick look at the last half century would see us doing everything from wearing Spanx to getting implants in our lips and bottoms, to starving ourselves to look like Kate Moss, drawing on that beauty spot that Cindy Crawford charted her career on, and in the past ten years, trying to match that whole so-athletic-but-still-sexy thing that’s all over the gram (you know exactly what I’m talking about). By the time we’re 80, who knows what mad aesthetic will prevail? But being pulled from pillar to post like this trying to anchor ourselves to the current trend is only not bad for our mental health, it’s not that great for our physical health or sense of self either.
Read MoreScrolling through Instagram while I sat outside and ate it (not mindful eating, but sometimes a girl needs a break between mouthfuls…) a post from my hometown popped up. The picture was a smoothie: salted caramel, protein powder and peanut butter with almond milk combo. It was being marketed by the company that sold it as a health food.
The discord struck me so hard. Go back even two years, and I didn’t eat pasta. Three years and no gluten. Eight years and no meat. Ten years and it was alternating between eating way too much and barely eating at all.
Read More‘Can you watch Giulio for a second?,’ his dad says. One of my best friends in Australia has a son born a day after him: they are both obsessed with climbing at the moment. I have a soft spot for Giulio too: he looks exactly like my sister did when she was little. He runs away from me, chasing the cat. I pick him up, put him on my hip and stop to look around. My mind flashes back to New Year's Eve, standing in this spot with sparklers, drinking prosecco from plastic cups. simultaneously wondering how I ended up here and knowing it’s exactly where I belong. My mind flashes back to New Year's Eve, standing in this spot with sparklers, drinking prosecco from plastic cups, wondering what the next 12 months would bring.
Read MoreI had stepped - in an instant - into a community of people who just said 'cool, you're here now. You're part of the gang.' All I had to do was learn to go with the flow. Anyone who knows me will appreciate the irony in that.
It took me ages to work out that it wasn’t that complicated at all. Things were pretty much what that seemed at face value. I know, right? Life was (and is) more honest, more simple, more community and family and socially-oriented. I’m melting right into it now. I’m learning how to be more of myself at the same time. I’m getting better at being peaceful. And that’s a good thing too. Nothing is rushed: every meal is communion, every coffee a moment to enjoy; every piece of work finished is celebrated and every conversation a genuine one. I am learning to express myself more, fight more, love more, feel more and be more.
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